Using Technology Boundaries As Communication

In a recent workshop a parent commented on how important communication between them and their child was to establishing a healthy technology rhythm and routine. While it is important to establish boundaries and agreements about how and when technology is used, it’s good to remember that navigating boundaries and limits is a great opportunity for communication. 

In parenting it’s easy to feel like dealing with technology limits is always a battle, with everyone primed for a fight.  Below are some quick tips to keep in mind that can help keep communication about tech use open and productive.  

connect with your child
Connect with your child prior to setting a limit or engaging in conversation about rule infractions – two minutes of validation and curiosity lowers defensiveness and goes a long way.  
use rules as opportunities for conversation with your kids
Use rule infractions as opportunities to have conversations about their decisions.  Remember that making mistakes is expected and an important aspect of how children learn.
validate your child's point of view
Validate your child’s point of view by reflecting their perspective of why tech use is important to them. Validation is not agreement, it’s ok to validate even if you have a different perspective. 
be curious how your child views technology
Be curious about how they view technology and its benefits and challenges. Have conversations about how their friends see things, and get their view of what they think and worry about.